Cell Mates
by lexiecullen17
Summary: A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!" Straight-laced-Bella's bachelorette weekend in Vegas gets a wee bit out of hand. Entry for the FML Contest.


**FML Contest**

**Title: Cell Mates**

**Pen name: lexiecullen17**

**Characters: Bella/Edward**

**Disclaimer: The characters belong to SM fully, but the ridiculously pervtastic situations I put them in are all mine, baby. **

***~*~***

**June 14 – 8:46 AM – Las Vegas County Prison**

"Swan?" My name was called out by an overweight, donut-eating cop who'd been staring at me like something to eat since I'd arrived. I felt like a caged animal at the zoo being put on display for people to poke at. And I was truly apologetic for ever having enjoyed the zoo. I understood now that it was a cruel and unusual punishment.

Exhausted and thoroughly hungover, I could barely move as they called my name.

"Swan?" he snapped again. Finally, I stood up, gripping my partner in crime's hand. We were in this together. A united front – that's what we needed to show.

"Yeah?" My mouth felt like it was packed with sawdust; dry and disgusting. I really needed some water in the near future.

"You and your _friend_—" The guard's eyes flicked towards the person next to me, and I had the urge to step in front and act as a shield. We may have behaved…poorly…but that didn't warrant us being looked at like that. I shuddered. "—have made bail."

_Oh._

_Oh, shit._

"Really?" I croaked, starting to panic. Had he really made the six-and-a-half hour drive from Los Angeles on the night of his bachelor party to bail me out of jail?

_Please don't be him…be anyone else…_

My anxiety was starting to override me, until a gentle hand was placed on my cheek.

"Bella. It'll be fine. You need to breathe." I heard the words, but my brain didn't truly comprehend them.

"Fine, right." I turned my body back towards the gate and grabbed the hand next to me for comfort again, squeezing lightly. I nodded my head at the guard, glad to be rid of him as we walked through the corridor out to the main lobby.

Tired green eyes awaited us. He was wearing his suit from last night, which was rumpled beyond belief, leaving him looking unkempt and out of sorts. I'd never seen him look anything less than perfect.

As we got closer, I could see that his eyes were bloodshot. I hoped that it was because of fatigue and not crying, although my boy had been known to cry a few tears in his day – and this would certainly warrant it.

Seeing him look so unkempt left my stomach feeling all kinds of twisted. I needed to apologize. "Edward—" I began, but he put up his hand to stop me.

"Not now." He sighed loudly and raked his hand through his hair, which looked dull and flat in the overhead fluorescent lighting.

"But Ed—" A voice came from next to me, and Edward's expression shifted to one of malevolence.

"I said not now!"

"Edward," I tried again, but he would have none of it. His eyes burned into mine, as if he were trying to figure me out. Or at least figure my actions out.

I was the typical goody two shoes–never had a detention, never got in trouble, always brushed my teeth, hadn't had sex until I was in love. And Edward was the same way. I could see why he'd be, um, a bit appalled at my behavior.

His eyes flicked down to my hand, which was still intertwined with my cellmate's, and I thought Edward was going to lose it.

_Oh shit._

"Bella, wait for me in the car, please." His voice was strained, and I could see him holding himself back. He'd never get into a fight – at least, I didn't think he'd get into a fight – but I was still nervous to leave the two by themselves.

For the first time in my life, I was scared of the fire behind Edward's eyes, so I decided to listen. I took the Volvo key from his shaking hand and slid past them and out to the car.

The morning sunshine hit me square in the forehead, making me moan with the painful remnants of my hangover. I needed coffee badly, but somehow I didn't see Edward being so accommodating during this trip.

Exhausted from the night's events, I slid into the passenger seat and closed my eyes, resting my head against the window. I only opened my eyes when I heard the driver's door slam shut…and then the back door slammed shut. It was then that I realized we were going to have to spend six and a half hours in a car together on the drive back to Los Angeles. This was going to be awkward. Well, fuck my life. How had this even happened?

**June 1 – 12:04 PM – Bella and Edward's Los Angeles Apartment**

"Hurry the fuck up, Bella!" Alice shouted as I stared at myself in the mirror. I cringed, knowing that both my mother _and_ my mother-in-law could hear my best friend's foul mouth. I could never contain her, no matter how hard I tried.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" My voice gave my nerves away. I abhorred being the center of attention, but being a bride led itself naturally to that, I supposed.

"That's what she said!" Alice quipped.

"Alice…" I knew I was whining, but my best friend really needed to control her quasi-Tourette's at my first real grown up party.

_Dear God. It's going to be like this all afternoon, isn't it?_

"Seriously, Bella," Alice's mocking voice continued, "I know you don't take this long to come for Edward." I cringed as I heard my mother's telltale gasp, and I could nearly picture her face growing red with the perma-blush she'd so thoughtfully passed down to me. Alice snickered, letting everyone else in the room know that her pun was, indeed, intentional. "Didn't you once tell me that you come at his command? Why don't I have the same power?"

_Okay, that's enough._

Unwilling to let Alice get any further with her potty mouth, I raced downstairs, tripping over the final stair into my future mother-in-law's arms. I was so flustered by Alice's comments that I couldn't even put a proper apology together.

"I, uh, Alice. I'm…she's…she's…" I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and ears, heating them to the point of burning. Here I was—Bella Swan, the perfect daughter-in-law—wearing a long strand of pearls with my grey sheath dress and heels, while my best friend gave divulged secrets about my sex life.

Esme smiled politely, holding that same haughty air she did every time we spoke. "Bella, please don't be embarrassed. I'm not so naïve as to believe that you and my son were waiting until marriage to consummate your relationship."

Alice, having overheard Esme's admission, snorted and finally came into view. "Bella and Edward, wait until marriage?" She laughed devilishly, running her navy-painted nails through her newly cropped black and violet hair. "Please, they barely waited through all of freshman orientation."

I wanted to smack Alice and shake her upside her head, but Esme didn't seem to mind her brashness at all. Instead, Esme surprised me completely by wrapping an arm around Alice's red plaid mini-dress, carefully avoiding the safety pins holding it together. "Oh, I know," she added into the conversation.

"What?" My heart was starting to race, unsure of where this conversation was going. I was positive that I didn't want Alice and Esme teaming up any time soon. My WASP of a mother-in-law and my Hot-Topic-clad best friend in cahoots together was most definitely a recipe for disaster.

"You can imagine my shock when Edward came home for Thanksgiving break freshman year with a spare condom in every pair of pants he'd thrown into the laundry."

"Oh my…" My face was most likely crimson by now, but Esme barreled on, squeezing Alice's waist and looking for confirmation as she did so.

"So, naturally, I approached him. I mean, this was my 'President of the Chess Team' son. I wasn't sure if he'd even kissed a girl before going to college."

Alice's heavily lined eyes, caked with mascara, looked up at Esme with adoration. "No fucking way. Why doesn't it surprise me that Nerdward plays chess?"

Esme laughed again, nodding at Alice before training her eyes on me. "Yes fucking way."

The words sounded so unnatural spilling from her lips that they actually took me by surprise. Esme Cullen had just sworn in my presence. Her smile widened, and for the first time, I wasn't intimidated by her. Instead of the scary mother-in-law, I finally saw her as how Edward had always described her to me—warm but sarcastic. She could cuss with the best of them, apparently.

"What did you say?" I asked, morbidly curious as to how the story ended.

"I asked him if he had anything he needed to tell me, and his face turned oddly suspicious as he tried to figure out what I was asking him. When I told him that I'd found his condoms, he jumped up from his chair, and in one long breath he went, 'Her name is Isabella Swan, she's my girlfriend, I'm in love with her, and we're being safe, so can we please never have this conversation again?'"

At her admission, I couldn't help but start laughing, too. It was so typically Edward. In the seven years I'd known and been in a relationship with Edward, he'd never taken anything lightly. But I supposed that came with his job description. Literally.

Edward decided, after majoring in math and graduating Summa Cum Laude from Dartmouth, that he wanted to make math meaningful. He now worked as a statistical analyst for American Pharmaceutical Partners, figuring out where money should be dispersed based on the need of research for any given disease. He was so serious all the time, but it was what I loved about him. Every little action had weight.

"All right…enough embarrassing my son. Now it's time to embarrass my new daughter. I have games planned, you know." Esme winked and grabbed my hand, pulling me into my living room, which she had decorated for the wedding shower.

"That's what I like to hear!" Alice hollered, clomping away in her tall black combat boots.

The rest of the shower went by in a blur of presents and humiliating stories and games. Yes, Esme hadn't lied about the games, and she was just as intent on embarrassing me as she'd promised. I had a distinct feeling that she and Alice had been conspiring all along. _Traitors_.

"Favorite sexual position?" Angela asked nervously. I felt bad for my other best friend—the more reserved one.

Each of my guests was having fun asking me questions about Edward, which apparently Esme had already acquired the answers to. So far, I hadn't gotten a single question wrong. His favorite color was red, favorite song was 'Baba O'Reilly' by The Who, favorite TV show was The X-Files, first crush was Kelly Kapowski…the list went on and on. And although I definitely knew the answer to this question, I wasn't sure if I wanted to admit it to my friends, family, and colleagues.

"Edward wouldn't answer that question," I replied adamantly. When Alice gave me the stink eye, though, I recoiled and gave up. "Fine, it's me on top!"

_Oh my God. Did I really just admit that? Yes, yes I did._

Angela's mouth dropped as she held up the card for me to see. Written across in Edward's perfectly legible handwriting was, "I'm not answering that question." Then, in a small scrawl underneath, it read, "Bella on top."

I groaned, leaning my head into my hands as Alice hollered and led everyone else in the room to follow along. I'd definitely had enough of these games. Thank goodness the party was coming to a close.

Just in the nick of time, Esme stood up to take over, causing me to breathe a sigh of relief. She smiled politely and thanked everyone for coming before clasping her hands together and eyeing me. My stomach churned with nerves. What else could she possibly have in store?

"As some of you may know, Bella has requested that she _not_ have a bachelorette party-"

"Despite the fact that Edward has already called me to ask what the best strip joints on Sunset are," Alice spoke up loudly. Yes, Edward wanted to have a bachelor party before our wedding. I had no problem with that…I just had no desire to watch cheesy male strippers when Edward was so clearly all I'd ever want or need.

"Yes, well." Esme cleared her throat, regaining everyone's attention, "I've come up with a sort of compromise and booked a spa weekend in Vegas for you and your bridesmaids for two weekends from now…the same weekend my son has requested he partake in his bachelor party."

Tears sprang into my eyes. A non-bachelorette party with my bridesmaids—my two best friends—was exactly what I hadn't known I'd wanted. "Thank you so much, Esme." I got up to embrace her tightly, and she squeezed back.

A lone tear escaped my eye and traveled down my cheek, and I struggled to covertly wipe it away. Just then, the lock turned to the front door, and my favorite emerald eyes could be seen from underneath a mop of wild brown hair, which was lit up with bronze streaks in the afternoon sun.

He grinned widely and cocked his head to the side, seeing me encased within his mother's grasp and approached us quickly. "Look at my two favorite girls together." He beamed before placing a kiss on each of our cheeks.

I pulled back and switched embraces from mother to son, entranced by their similar appearances. I'd never noticed before how Edward's bright green eyes, bronze hair, and crooked smile came directly from his mother. I'd always been distracted by his father's strong jaw, undoubtedly my favorite feature of Edward's.

"Is something wrong, baby?" he asked, his arms tightening around my waist as he placed a soft kiss onto my shoulder before brushing my hair back and turning his nose to "discretely" smell some of my favorite perfume.

"No. I just love your mother."

"I'm glad," he whispered into my neck, not moving his lips from my skin. It raised and prickled under his touch, and I tried my very hardest not to blush under his mother's gaze, which was locked on her only son's mouth.

Her facial expression became unreadable. I couldn't tell if she was upset with Edward's public display of affection or if she was just curious about it. We weren't a very "grope in public" kind of couple. But just as suddenly as the dark expression appeared, it dissolved into an easy smile.

"Oh, I love you, too, dear." She threw her arms around us both, and I felt safe and loved in both their embraces.  
**  
June 14 – 11:02 AM – Somewhere on I 15 S**

The car had been silent for the past two and a half hours. _Silent_. Every so often, Edward would run his hand through his hair, glance back in the rearview mirror, and sigh softly.

And after the tenth time within a half hour span, I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Just say something, please." I placed my hand on his shoulder, and his head snapped around to look at me.

"What?" He looked so confused, and suddenly the car swerved out of the lane, causing the vehicles around us to blare their horns. "Motherfucker!" he swore loudly.

"Edward!" I gasped, completely taken aback by the anger that was clearly boiling behind his calm façade. I didn't think Edward had ever cussed outside the bedroom before, and it unraveled me. My nerves came back tenfold, and I lacked the restraint not to look back into the backseat.

As I gave a weak smile to our backseat passenger, Edward's glare turned deadly. He narrowed his eyes and pulled off at the closest exit. The car sat at the shoulder of the road as Edward clenched the steering wheel, gripping tightly as he breathed in and out heavily, clearly trying to keep from boiling over.

After several long minutes, Edward put the car back into drive and reentered the highway, and I noticed he was going ten miles per hour over the speed limit.

"I want—" he began, but then stopped and corrected himself "—no, I _need_ to know what happened." When no one responded, his face turned red and he slammed his hand down on the wheel. "One of you had better start talking RIGHT. NOW."

My mouth dropped at Edward's brashness. He had always been the polite, soft-spoken, well-mannered one.

"Edward," the voice from the back interjected, "you're making too big a deal about this."

"Too big a deal?" he said with his eyebrows raised in pure disbelief. "Too big a deal?" he repeated, his voice getting higher with each word. "I just bailed you two out of _jail_! For…for…p-p…" His lips pursed and his brow furrowed as he continued to stutter with the word. Finally, he let out an exasperated sigh. "I can't even say it yet. _That_ is how big of a deal this is to me."

And he was right. It was a huge deal. I'd gotten arrested, and not just for being too drunk in Vegas—which I'd definitely been. No, I'd legitimately broken the law with my partner in crime and had subsequently hurt Edward in the process. I felt like the worst fiancée ever.

"I'm sorry," I admitted quietly. "You're right."

"I know Goddamned well that I'm right, Bella," he growled.

"You don't have to snap at—"

"I'll snap as much as I want! I'm sorry, but I received a phone call at three-thirty in the morning saying that you'd both been arrested, Bella! Do you want to know what I was doing at three-thirty?" I knew it was a rhetorical question, but he was getting too snippy for me.

"What were you doing, Edward?"

"I was asleep. In bed." He paused for effect and then continued. "_Our_ bed, Bella. Or don't you remember that we're getting _married_ next week? Or we're supposed to be, anyway…" He trailed off, and my stomach plummeted to my feet, through the car floor to the asphalt racing below us.

"Y-you want to break up?" My voice cracked under the weight of my emotion. I knew that my behavior had been less than perfect. Obviously, I'd made a huge error in judgment, but it had never crossed my mind that Edward would call off the wedding…or leave me for good. I thought I might throw up.

Edward's eyes widened with alarm as he sputtered out a choked, "What? No! Bella, how could you even…" His hand moved from the steering wheel to run through his hair again before finding a place on the bridge of his nose, pinching slightly before returning to its original location. "I just want to know how this happened, baby."

I gulped. I knew that I'd eventually have to confess my discretions to Edward, but knowing something and finally doing it seemed like very different things. I was not prepared, but I owed it to him. I truly did.

So, without further ado, I jumped in and confessed everything from the beginning.  
**  
June 12 – 8:04 PM – Le Cirque at The Bellagio**

I looked around the fancy restaurant in awe as a haughty-looking waiter led us to our table. Briefly glancing at my surroundings, I spotted two celebrities I could name off the top of my head and two who I'd be able to if I could pull my Blackberry out and IMDb them.

The menu was filled with nearly unreadable French dishes—and I spoke French well. In fact, Edward's college graduation gift to me had been a week-long vacation in Paris, but I was still intimidated by the five-star courses laid out in front of me.

Angela asked for help nervously, while Alice just raised her hand obnoxiously and made the waiter go over each dish. I would have rolled my eyes at her behavior, but it was just so purely Alice that I let it go.

The food was incredible, and I honestly couldn't believe that our entire bill was being put on Esme Cullen's tab. I knew that the Cullens had a lot of money, obviously. Edward's father was a big-time investment banker in New York who'd practically invented hedge funds, and Esme's money had been passed down through generations of old Connecticut families. But she was putting down at least five thousand dollars for our three-day weekend. I felt a little bad that she wouldn't join us, but she said that this was her gift to me and my bridesmaids, which I absolutely couldn't refuse. And I was grateful for it, because so far, this weekend had been amazing.

I moaned as I took the last bite of my mashed potatoes before laying my fork down on my plate and smiling. "That was by far the best thing I've ever had in my mouth."

"Really?" Alice quirked her eyebrow and leaned forward. "Better than sucking down Edward's hot, hot baby batter?"

Angela, mid-bite of her filet, inhaled too quickly and started to have a coughing fit.

"Alice!" I scolded, but I could feel my face flushing at the thought of taking Edward into my mouth. It was one of my personal favorite things to do, and it went without saying that he'd never complained. Reaching for my glass, I took a long pull of wine to calm myself. But as I put the glass down, my two best friends' eyes were on me, wide with disbelief.

"No shit, Bella. Really? I would have thought Edward would be all about 'not demeaning you' or something. Huh." Alice looked like I'd told her that aliens existed—an air of incredulity and alarm splashed across her face. I couldn't believe we were having this conversation.

"Honestly," Angela finally interjected, "I'm with Alice on this one. Color me shocked."

"Do you really think I'm that uptight?" I was getting annoyed. Here I was, the only one of us in a committed relationship for the past seven years, and they thought I hadn't blown anyone?

When neither of them spoke up, I got my answer. Obviously, they did.

"Of course I've given head before!" I nearly shouted. The tables surrounding us hushed at my loud outburst, and I blushed again—this time from humiliation. I quickly finished my glass of wine and refilled it to the top. Clearly, it was going to be one of _those_ nights.

Angela started laughing so hard that tears streamed down her face. Alice, on the other hand, continued to stare at me in disbelief.

"Bella," Alice whispered, leaning her head in even closer, "I am so. Proud. Of. You." She mockingly wiped a false tear from her eye and made a crude gesture behind her outstretched hand.

"Okay," I said, pushing out my chair and standing up, shocking my two friends, "we're going to have some fun tonight. This is my last weekend as a 'single girl,' and I could use a really strong drink right now. What about you?"  
**  
June 13 – 12:02 AM – Rooftop Bar at The Palms**

I'd forgotten how miserable going out with my two best friends was. In theory, I was still a single girl, but I really wasn't…and I couldn't help but miss Edward. It had been merely hours since we'd last seen one another, but I felt hopelessly out of place amongst the scantily clad college kids looking for a quick hookup.

I couldn't tell you how many keycards I'd been slipped. I hadn't realized that people even did that. In the city aptly named after sin, Alice and Angela were having the time of their lives…which was why I waited until midnight (and three very strong cocktails) to coerce them into leaving.

Angela was dancing with a group of people when I approached her. "Hey, Ang, have you seen Alice? I think I'm ready to go!" I attempted to shout over the loud, crappy music blaring through the speakers.

She continued to sway her hips and move seductively with the music while shaking her head and pouting.

A sad sigh escaped my lips. Angela wouldn't be ready to leave anytime in the near future, and it was incredibly doubtful that Alice would be, either.

I spotted a crop of black and violet hair being tugged as some dorky-looking blonde with a tongue ring licked his way up pale skin. _Well, I've found Alice. _ She was sitting on the guy's lap, completely wrapped around him, tongue already out and hands wandering. Typical.

I decided to give them a little bit more time and took out my Blackberry to check my messages. As the phone lay in my palm, it started vibrating. Well, that was auspicious timing. Edward's name lit up the screen, making my stomach clench with excitement. I was just tipsy enough to be feeling sexually frustrated by the lack of his presence.

"Edward?" The music was too loud, and I couldn't hear his response. Walking quickly, I looked for anywhere quiet, which was more difficult than I'd anticipated in such a busy bar. Finally, I found a back stairwell that led down away from the bar in the opposite direction of the elevators. I sat down on the top stair and leaned against the wall comfortably. Quiet at last.

"Baby?" His voice rang loud and clear.

"Hey," I breathed in relief.

"Not having fun in Vegas?" He chuckled.

I rolled my eyes, despite the fact that he couldn't see me. I was sure he'd be able to hear it in my tone. "Not as much as Alice and Angela." His laughter increased, and my stomach clenched some more. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too, but I'll see you on Sunday afternoon. That's just thirty-six hours away. Two thousand, one hundred and sixty minutes…actually, fifty-one minutes and thirty-two, no, thirty-one seconds, if you want to be perfectly accurate."

His math rambling suddenly made my breasts extremely conscious of the fact that there wasn't a bra encasing them, allowing them to rub against the satin of my dress. "Edward," I groaned. "You know you're not allowed to talk math when you're not here to deal with the consequences."

Edward was silent on the other line, and I worried that maybe I was being too forward. Although, I couldn't imagine that. Edward and I had always had a very healthy sexual relationship. _Oh_, _yes_. _ Sex with Edward_. _Sigh_. During my deep thinking, I heard a zipper and rustling. My mouth went dry. "Edward?" I squeaked.

"Yes?" His voice was low, husky, and he was unmistakably turned on. I couldn't let this opportunity go to waste, especially when I wouldn't be seeing him for a whole two thousand, one hundred and now-fifty minutes.

"Did you just get into bed?"

"Maybe." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Are you, um, wearing anything?"

"No."

My breathing increased and I shifted my legs, squeezing them together to try and alleviate the aching that was starting to build underneath my thin panties. "Edward, you can't do this to me. I'm wearing my favorite underwear tonight. I can't ruin another pair," I whined.

"Shit, Bella. The blue lace ones?" I hummed in acknowledgement that, yes, I was wearing the replacement underwear of the same pair that he'd ripped from my body the night I'd accepted his proposal. He groaned loudly, and I heard him curse under his breath. "Then maybe you should take them off."

I whimpered and squirmed a little more. "I can't, Edward," I groaned.

"Ung…" He was definitely touching himself. I could hear his hand sliding up and down his shaft, and I'd never wished more for a Star Trek transporter. If I could just say "Energize" and have my mouth wrapped around my fiancé's cock, I'd be a much happier person right now. "Why the fuck not?"

Clearly, Edward felt the same way.

"I'm in the back stairwell of The Palms hotel. Someone could walk in at any second…" I was saying the words, but my hand was ignoring them, wandering down the smooth satin of my dress instead, bunching the fabric around my thighs as I widened my legs.

My index finger reached out and brushed gently over the lacy material, letting it move ever so slightly over my clit. It felt as if I'd been electrified; a shock reverberated through my entire body, and wetness seeped through the porous fabric onto my finger.

"You're in public, Bella?" Edward groaned. "I think that's the hottest thing I've ever heard."

His reaction only spurred me on further. My hand brushed lightly over my clit while the other moved to fondle my breast, making it necessary for me to grip the Blackberry between my shoulder and cheek to keep it in place.

"Tell me what you're doing, baby."

I could feel the excitement building within me. This wasn't the first time we'd had phone sex—Edward was frequently sent out of town on business—but the thrill of doing it in public where anyone could walk in on me made every sensation more intense.

My fingers pushed aside the damp fabric of my panties and lightly teased my naked clit. "I'm teasing myself," I whispered. "Just like you do."

"I can't believe you're really doing this." He laughed, breaking the mystical lust spell that had overtaken me momentarily. I shook my head, trying to come out of it fully. What was I thinking? This was not my style at all. But as Edward continued his demands, I couldn't help but comply. "We don't have time for teasing, Bella. I'm not going to come without you, but I'm getting exceedingly close. Now, push two fingers into yourself."

Blood rushed to my ears, propelling me to succumb to my desires. I had never wanted to get off so badly before. Momentarily ignoring my clit, two fingers were thrust inside my drenched core, massaging the pulsing walls around them. At this rate, Edward wouldn't need to stave off his orgasm for very long. I was nearly ready to go.

"Did you do it?" he asked nervously.

I ignored his question and instead focused on the timbre of his melodic voice as my fingers continued in their quest to fill his void. They pumped in and out, plunging faster and faster, causing my heart rate to increase.

"Oh God, Bella, I can hear you," he moaned. "You sound…so…wet." His voice was getting shakier, and I could nearly feel the exertion it was taking him to prevent his explosion.

"I _am_ so wet, Edwarrrrrrd." I closed my eyes and let the sensations take over—the cool breeze dancing across my hot skin, the sound of Edward's panting, and the fluttering of my walls nearly clamping down on my fingers. Everything was magnified.

"Fuck, Bella, I…can't…wait." He gasped in between pants. "Rub your clit."

Dirty talk coming from Edward's mouth was the only thing sexier than his math talk, in my opinion. Without conscious thought, the hand that was caressing my breast moved to my clit, pressing wet circles into it as my other hand continued to pound into me. I was literally giving myself a thorough fucking. It had never been like this for me before.

My orgasm swept over me like a tidal wave, making me cry out and throw my head back against the wall. "Edward!"

Wetness dripped down my hand. I kept my fingers deep within my thighs as I came down from my high, not quite willing to remove them yet.

"Bella…Bella…Bella…." My name was being called from somewhere, but I wasn't quite lucid enough to figure out that in my orgasmic bliss, I'd released the phone from its perch on my shoulder and it was now resting on the floor beside me.

"Hold on!" I called out, realizing that my hands were too dirty to put on my phone right now. Looking around the stairwell, I saw a discarded cocktail napkin. It was a little dirty, but for right now, it'd do just fine.

After wiping my hands clean, I picked up the phone and leaned back against the wall again. "Sorry, Edward," I apologized. "I needed to—"

Suddenly, the door to the stairwell swung open, and I was greeted by the shocked faces of my best friends. "Bella! We were looking for you…" Angela trailed off. She glanced downwards for a second just as a gust of wind from outside hit my wet panties. One quick look down, and I realized that my skirt was still raised.

"Shit!" I fumbled with the phone as I hurried to pull my skirt down, trying to hide my soaked panties away from my friends' curious eyes.

"Did you just fuck yourself?" Alice gawked.

My skin felt like it was on fire, prickling with embarrassment and the remnants of one of the most powerful sexual releases of my life.

"Holy fuck balls! You did!" In my moment of confusion, Alice reached for the phone, placing it against her ear with a wide smile across her face. "Hey there, Casanova. Can I just say that you two are way more freaky than I ever gave you credit for, and I'm kind of impressed…yes, it's Alice…no, I wasn't watching…are you for real right now, Edward? I mean, if you wanted me to join you in a threesome, you could have just asked." She raised her eyebrows and pointed to the receiver as she mouthed to me, "He's still naked."

"Alice!"

I snatched back the phone as quickly as possible. Sober Alice had no filter as it was…drunk Alice was beyond inappropriate, and I needed to intervene before Edward got an earful. Angela snickered behind Alice, wobbling with the influence of the alcohol running through her system as Alice continued to express her disbelief at how kinky Edward and I were.

"Edward?"

Low laughter came over the line, and my nerves faded away. "Yeah, I'm still here, baby. Don't worry. Drunk Alice hasn't scared me off yet."

"Okay, we're going to head back to our hotel room now. But I love you and will call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. I love you, too. Have fun, Bella."  
**  
June 13 – 10:47 AM – The Girls' Room at The Bellagio**

I was awoken the next morning by the sound of retching coming from our large hotel bathroom. The noise echoed off the tile, rousing me from my happily sexed and tipsy dreamland.

"Bella," Alice whispered as she shook my shoulder gently. I kept my eyes closed, feigning slumber. Hopefully she'd go away and let me sleep more. "Angela's really sick. I think she's going to head home."

"You sure she's not just hungover?" I sounded groggy, even to myself.

"No, baby doll. She's been puking since three AM. I'm actually surprised you didn't hear it. Edward must have really worn you out."

I cracked open my eyes just in time to see Alice squat down next to the bed, bringing her nearly face-to-face with me.

"What do you want to do?"

"Hm?" Why was she asking me all of these questions when I was clearly not fully awake yet.

"Should we get Esme to switch our flights and just go home tonight?"

In theory, that would be the best option. Angela needed to get back to LA, and we could go and take care of her. But in actuality, if I were in LA the same time that Edward was having his bachelor party, I wasn't sure what would happen. I think I'd be territorial enough to crash it.

"No, let me call Esme. She can change Angela's, but we have to stay here." I blindly groped for my phone. "Alice," I whined. "Hand me my phone…"

"I would," she began, "but I already took the liberty of calling Esme. Her plane gets in at one-thirty. She felt so bad about Angela, but she said she'd be honored to spend the rest of the weekend with us."

_Wait, come again?_

At Alice's words, my eyes snapped open, and I was jolted awake. "Mary Alice Brandon, what did you do?" Vegas with Esme Cullen? That seemed like a terrible, horrible idea. You wanted your mother-in-law to think of you as a perfectly behaved woman, not a Vegas party girl.

"Oh, relax, Bella." Alice rolled her eyes and grabbed a cigarette, heading out to the balcony to smoke it. "It'll be a good time. Esme's awesome."

Just then, Angela puked into the toilet again. _Yeah. I feel the same way._

**June 13 – 8:00 PM – Cirque De Soleil**

"I have never been more excited to see anything than right now." Alice was beyond excited for the Cirque De Soleil show. For some reason, she was extremely turned on by contortionists—a creepy fetish, I'm aware.

"I've never seen her this enthused about anything," Esme leaned over to whisper in my ear. I nodded and simultaneously tried to pull up and down my dress. Alice had said that last night I'd had all the fun, and tonight she wanted to go have some more of her own.

I had a sneaking suspicion that the nerdy blonde with the tongue ring had been _plenty_ of fun, but I wasn't going to argue. I did, however, argue about the fact that she had put me in her most revealing dress for said "fun." It was essentially a light blue ace bandage disguised as a halter dress. She argued that Edward would never let me out of the house in something this revealing, so I might as well get it out the way.

I'd felt completely and utterly betrayed when Esme had agreed.

I couldn't argue too much, though, because they'd both put themselves in almost-as revealing-outfits—Esme in a low-cut, cap-sleeved black dress, and Alice (in true Alice fashion) in a corset, skirt, and fishnet thigh highs.

To my surprise, hanging out with Alice and Esme wasn't as awkward as I'd feared it would be. We'd spent most of the day lounging at the pool and working on increasing my tan so I didn't "blend in with my dress," as Alice had said so kindly.

And I'd found out that talking with Esme was a treat when she wasn't being trying to be the perfect hostess or the intimidating mother-in-law. She was hilarious and had somewhat of a potty mouth—and she wasn't offended by Alice, which said a lot about her character. No, Esme wasn't the perfect suburban housewife I'd always imagined her to be, and I was glad that I was finally able to see it.

We shuffled into the theater and took our seats just as the show was starting. The lights dimmed, and we were transported to a magical place where gravity failed to exist.

In the midst of my trance, a tall blonde man with a chiseled jaw took the stage. He moved slowly, stretching his muscles to impossible lengths with ease. And as he bent over backwards, we were privileged enough to see the outline of his package, barely covered by the small spandex pants he was wearing.

"Fuck, he's huge!" Alice gaped. My eyes slid to hers, trying to chastise her with my furrowed brow and pursed lips, but Alice continued to salivate. Was he really that large? I mean, I had nothing to compare it to but Edward—and it didn't look all that different.

Esme caught my attention, placing her hand on my knee before leaning in to whisper, "She clearly hasn't slept with a Cullen."

My eyes snapped open wide as I tried not to choke on my own sharp inhalation. Esme just chuckled and squeezed my knee, nudging my shoulder playfully before returning her attention to the stage.

The rest of the show was filled with subtle sexual comments from both Alice and Esme, and I worried that they were prepping me for the rest of the night. I had begged them to let me have a relaxed night, but I had a feeling that they were planning otherwise.

As the show ended, Alice grabbed our hands and made her way to the exit, cutting off the huge lines of people before I could stop and even think.

"Alice, wait! Where are we going?"

She stopped in her tracks and looked me over before lighting a cigarette and mumbling something about The Palms.

"No!" I yelled, surprising both her and Esme. "Alice, we can't go back there!" I was panicking. What if someone else had heard me last night and recognized me?

"Oh, no worries, Bella. We won't go back to the roof bar, and it's not like anyone would fucking recognize you anyway...unless you started moaning, 'Edward,' over and over again."

Esme's eyes were alight with mischief as she questioned me. "Wait, what?"

I blushed, not wanting to confess what I'd been caught doing last night, but (as usual) Alice could care less. "Oh, yeah," she began devilishly. "Apparently Bella has a thing for public nudity now."

"No, I don't!"

"Sure, you don't," she laughed mockingly.

"Okay, you can't just say that and not continue…" Esme goaded.

I groaned, knowing that neither of them would let up until Esme knew good and well what I'd been up to. But how did you confess to your future mother-in-law that you were getting off to the sound of her son's voice commanding you to touch yourself? That didn't sound like a good idea.

"Whatever it was, I can assure you, I've done worse." My eyes widened as Esme winked and grabbed my waist, pulling me towards her. I could tell that we were definitely in for an interesting night.

**June 14 – 1:05 PM – In N Out Drive Thru**

I moaned as I bit into my burger, needing the greasy food to soak up the remnants of booze still floating around in my system.

We'd stopped for lunch at In N Out, which Edward only let himself have when he was incredibly stressed. His brow furrowed, and he stared at the table as he popped fry after fry into his mouth.

Finally, he took a long sip of his Diet Coke and looked up. He looked conflicted and tormented, and I automatically reached across the table to take his hand in mine. It tensed momentarily before relaxing, and he linked his fingers with mine.

"Okay." He let out a shaky breath and ran his free hand through his tousled hair. "So, you left Cirque De Soleil for The Palms…"

"Yes, and then…you know what happened." I looked over at the person next to me, who was sipping their Diet Coke quietly.

Edward followed my gaze, looking beside me before regaining eye contact with me. "Do I? Because really all I know was that you went out to a club, and I got a call in the middle of the night from Vegas County Prison. For…for…p-pu…pub—"

"For public sex, Edward! Just say it, for Christ's sake." My voice rang out through the small restaurant. It was silent until lighthearted laughter started from the person sitting to my left.

"Bella," he groaned, leaning his face into his free hand. A faint pink hue tinged Edward's cheeks and ears, and he started mumbling his favorite calming technique. "1…2…3…5…7…11…13…17…19—"

"Edward," my partner in crime snapped. "Enough with the prime numbers. You need to calm down."

"Calm down?" he fumed. "You—" he pointed his finger sternly "—you don't get to talk to me right now. I'm talking to my fiancée right now, not the _person_ she cheated on me with!"

My mouth dropped at his accusation. It was the first time that I'd consciously realized that I had cheated on Edward. When it had been happening, I hadn't realized that he would construe it like that, and I was incredibly ashamed.

His face regained some composure as he looked back up with determination. "Bella, I want to know _exactly_ what happened."

"Exactly?" I croaked.

"Of course you do," the snarky voice said from next to me, trying to hide low laughter behind a burger.

"Shut up!" Edward snapped back. I was shocked; I'd never heard him speak so uncouthly to anyone before.

"Fine." And with one simple word, I was off.  
**  
June 13 – 11:22 PM – Rain Night Club at The Palms**

I tried not to roll my eyes as Alice approached both Esme. In her hand she held a pitcher filled with a blue concoction that could only be deadly. We had managed to get a table in the VIP section. Apparently, Esme could talk her way into anywhere, and I had to say—I was a bit impressed.

But I knew I'd be just as miserable as last night if I didn't drink, and tonight I couldn't even have the pleasure of calling Edward. I opened up the text he'd sent me during the show, trying not to read too much into it.

**b-tx 4 not freaking out bout 2nite. call u in the morning. xx, e**

No, I would not be having phone sex with my fiancé tonight because he would be too busy ogling the plastic bodies of strippers. I was the antithesis of those girls, and if that was what he was doing with his last night as a "single guy," well…that brought up a whole new slew of insecurities.

With those thoughts in mind, I reached over and filled my glass to the top and took a few large sips. To my surprise, the blue liquid tasted sweet—like raspberries—and went down my throat smoothly.

"Are you all right, Bella?" Esme asked, sounding concerned. She leaned in and placed a comforting hand on my knee and squeezed gently.

"I'm fine." I ducked my head bashfully, not wanting Esme to see the insecurity in my eyes.

"Aw, shit. What'd he say?" Alice reached her hand out for my phone, but I shook my head. How did she always know?

"Nothing, I promise." My eyes pleaded with her to just let it go.

Esme, however, had taken my moment of distraction as an opportunity to glance at the message herself. "My son has a way with numbers, darling, not with words. Don't take this too personally." Her eyes were warm, and I saw Edward reflected back in them, which calmed me immediately. With a shaky sigh, I nodded my head and raised my glass.

"To not remembering much about tonight."

Alice's eyes went wide as she jolted out of her seat and twirled in a little circle, showing off the tops of her fishnet thigh highs. "Fuck yeah!" An evil glint appeared in her eyes as she grinned broadly. "Sweet Jesus. I feel like I've been waiting for this night my whole fucking life, Bella. Let's get you drunk and slutty!"

"I'm not getting slutty, Alice."

She raised her eyebrows and ran her hand up my thigh over my dress. "We'll see about that…"

"Alice!" I swatted her hand away, but I took a mental note of the warm flush that raced across my skin at her touch.

"Bella, I can see you blushing from here." She bit her lip and leaned forward, letting her ample cleavage raise over the top of her corset. "You know…it's okay to be curious." She winked, and I blushed further.

"What, Alice? I—no!" I sputtered. "I'm not curious."

Esme took a large sip of her own drink and leaned back in her seat. "Really? Haven't we all been curious at one point or another?"

"Not me!" I scoffed, incredulous at the turn in the conversation.

I couldn't believe what was happening right now. Instead of thinking about it, though, I let the rest of the blue liquor slide down my throat, making the room blur slightly out of focus. They, in turn, followed my lead, momentarily letting the issue go and drinking happily.

The music blared around us, and I felt myself grow more at ease with the night. Conversation flowed almost as quickly as the drinks. The blue pitcher had been filled at least three times, making my skin flush and my libido increase. I was sad, yet again, that Edward was so many miles away.

I was lost in my thoughts of last night's rendezvous when I heard Alice yelling at Esme loudly. "Nope, Bella has _only_ been with Edward, can you fucking believe that? I keep telling her—don't you think you should sample something else on the market before you buy the first thing you've tried on?"

Esme looked shocked and a little bit appalled. "You've really only been with Edward? But hasn't he…"

Yes, Edward had been with other girls besides me. We'd taken a six-month break during our sophomore year of college, during which Edward had decided to sleep with not one, not two, but _three_ of the girls in his math seminar. I, on the other hand, had waited patiently for him to finish his explorations and prayed that he'd come back to me. He had, and we'd been all the stronger for it ever since. That didn't change the fact, though, that he was the only person I'd ever had sex of any kind with.

"Edward fit perfectly. I didn't want to sample anything else," I countered, following along with her ridiculous metaphor.

"But what if something else fit perfectly, too…but it just looked different on?"

I shook my head and got serious. "But…it fits perfectly _everywhere_." I prolonged the last word, hoping they wouldn't ask for clarification, but of course that wouldn't happen with these two.

"Wait." Alice held up a finger and peered at Esme before looking back at me to continue. "When you say everywhere, do you mean…"

"Alice, do you honestly think that I would marry someone without exploring everything sexually with them?"

"Okay, Bella, I know you and there is _no way_ that you let Edward stick it up your—"

I cringed and interjected quickly. "Oh my God, Alice, are you really going to ask me that?"

"Yes!" she continued, waving her hands wildly. "_I_ haven't even done that. I thought you were all prim and proper and going at it missionary style, not taking it up the ass!"

I leaned my head into my hands, hiding my massive blush from my best friend and my future mother-in-law—who had just been privy to the most intimate details of her son's sex life.

"Don't be embarrassed, Bella!" Esme cheered, raising her glass in a toast to me. "But you haven't tried _everything_ sexually, as you say, unless you've tried it with the fairer sex. Are you really trying to tell me that Edward hasn't suggested you fool around with a girl? I remember Carlisle pushing that one on me for years before I finally gave in."

"I, uh…" My brain went blank at the idea of Dr. Carlisle Cullen asking to see Esme with another woman. For some reason, my alcohol-riddled brain found it immensely intriguing and a little arousing.

Suddenly, I looked up and realized that Alice was nowhere to be seen and that Esme was staring at me with the same crooked smile she'd passed onto her son.

"Where'd she go?"

Esme nodded her head in the direction of Alice, who was pressed up against the far wall by the same blonde with the tongue ring we'd seen last night. I assumed he was the reason we were back at The Palms. We most likely wouldn't see Alice until morning, and I was nearing the end of my tolerance for crappy club music.

"Want to head back to the hotel?" Esme asked, almost as if she could read my mind. I smiled, and we walked out into the fresh air. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable before," she added quickly. "It's just…I think you'll end up resenting Edward if you don't, and he has…" She trailed off, but I understood the sentiment completely. I was surprised at how insightful she was being. Or maybe I was just too drunk to think otherwise.

Outside of the club was incredibly crowded. How had it skipped my mind that it was a Saturday night on the Vegas strip? I tried to push through the masses of people adorning the sidewalk, but the booze was definitely affecting my ability to walk properly.

Suddenly, I felt small hands placed on my sides, gently steering me towards our hotel. I leaned back into them slightly, letting her body press against mine and support me in my drunken quest to get back to my room. She was so close that I could feel the hot puffs of her exhales on the back of my exposed neck.

We came to a stop at the curb, waiting patiently for the walk signal to change patiently. I didn't move, perfectly comfortable within her supportive grasp. As we stood there, her thumbs started to move in small circles on my sides. I would barely have noticed the motion had she not simultaneously leaned forward to whisper in my ear, "Bella."

My body broke out into goose bumps at the feel of her lips murmuring quietly against my neck, my nipples straining through the thin fabric of my halter dress.

"Which way is the hotel?"

I gulped and nodded my head towards the right. She leaned slightly forward and kissed my cheek before gripping my body tighter to hers and steering me again. My heart rate picked up, and I could feel a dull throbbing begin to form at my center.  
_  
This isn't happening_, I tried to tell myself. _There is no way she is coming onto you._ But the seed of "curiosity" had already been planted, and I was starting to think that she was, in fact, coming onto me. And God damn, if I wasn't enjoying it.

I leaned back further into her body, causing her to increase the diameter of the circles on my sides. As we came to our final crosswalk, she paused and brushed her lips gently over the back of my neck. I inadvertently whimpered and stretched my neck, making room for her head. It was one of my absolute favorite places to be touched, and I wondered if Edward hadn't confided in her about our sex life.

_Yes, Edward…your fiancé. You do remember him, right?_

Oh, I remembered him. I was just temporarily ignoring him and giving in to my sexual frustration. After all, who wasn't to say that he was currently jerking it to a room full of strippers in Los Angeles?  
_  
Right. No more thinking about Edward._

Just then, Esme's arms moved from their spot on my sides to wrap around my stomach, pressing flat on my abdomen and making small circles there. This time, I wasn't shocked when I felt wetness pooling in my underwear.

At this rate, I didn't think I'd be able to wait to get to my hotel room before getting off. I was too far gone, tired of being teased for the entirety of our fifteen-minute walk. Apparently, she felt similarly because instead of continuing to steer us towards the Bellagio, she walked us towards a narrow alley just before it.

The next thing I knew, I was being spun around and pinned against the rough brick wall of the alley. "Bella, you can tell me to stop at any time…"

I stared into the green eyes I loved so much. The same love and warmth shone from them, and in that moment, I could very nearly see him. I stopped hesitating. My hands wrapped into her hair and pulled her mouth towards me, letting her lips crush mine.

The kiss lost its aggression quickly, turning slow and seductive as I parted my lips to deepen it. She tasted like raspberries, and I wondered briefly if she was as drunk as I was. Those thoughts were quickly pushed away as her tongue collided with mine, feeling tender but still in control. Her hands moved from either side of my head to run down my sides, sweeping over my breasts before coming to rest on my ribs.

Her kisses moved away from my mouth to gently nip at the skin of my neck, making my legs tremble. "Oh God," I murmured. When her hands ascended to brush against my breasts, applying more pressure with each steady swipe, my breath caught in my throat and my knees buckled.

She pulled back suddenly and her eyes darted around, obviously looking for something to help support me. The only thing in the alley, though, was a parked police car. Not ideal, but at least I'd be able to sit and lean against something.

Taking initiative, I grabbed her waist and walked backwards. My knees hit the bumper, and I allowed myself to lean back, pulling her between my legs and on top of me. Her mouth never reached mine, though. Instead, it found itself buried in the low V-neck of my halter, pressing hot kisses into my cleavage.

My hands found purchase in her long caramel strands, and she grinned up at me, her mouth still attached to my skin. Her smirk and devilish eyes looked so similar to her son that I was positive a low, "Edward," escaped my lips as a rush of wetness filled my panties.

Her hands reached up to untie my halter, and I lifted my shoulders off the hood of the car to aid her in her quest. I wanted her mouth on me. It felt too good.

She tugged the dress down to my waist, exposing my breasts to the night air, and I was grateful for the lack of streetlights in the alley, shrouding our indiscretions in the shadows of the buildings towering over us.

Her mouth was hot over my nipple as she sucked it into her mouth and laved it with her tongue, causing me to cry out in pleasure. It was so different from anything I'd experienced with Edward. Her mouth was small and so, so soft—no stubble to brush against my skin, only the smooth expanse of her cheek. And I couldn't even begin to describe the delicate yet forceful feeling of a woman's touch.

Her mouth switched breasts, and my nipples puckered as cool air came into contact with my wet skin. I was throbbing, aching from her lack of attention to anything below my waist. And I nearly shouted for joy when her hands started making their way down to my thighs, pushing up the fabric of my skirt to caress my skin.

Ever so slowly, her hand crept towards my center, gently brushing her thumb farther with each lazy circle. My inner thighs clenched in anticipation, wanting to trap her fingers in between them. Shock waves exploded throughout my body as her hand brushed over my soaked panties and then rubbed gently, up and down, over the fabric.

"Is this okay?" she asked, increasing the pressure of her palm against my clit. My hips started to rock against it without conscious thought as I mumbled out an incoherent but affirmative response.

I pulled her back on top of me, missing the weight of her body as she moved aside the remaining fabric and pushed two delicate fingers inside me. My scream of pleasure was muffled as I brought my lips to her clothed shoulder. Fingers curled and uncurled within me as they pumped in time to my steadily increasing breaths.

"Please," I begged, unsure of what I was really pleading for. When her thumb moved to my clit to spread the wetness around, I knew. My legs tensed and cramped, letting my tension build in the best way possible. I drew my knees up, widening my legs to allow her more room. Her fingers plunged in further, hitting as deep as possible. Perfectly manicured nails scraped lightly against my fluttering walls, which were vibrating in time with my rising pulse.

Her thumb pressed harder, pushing me towards the precipice, and on her command of, "Let go, Bella," I fell, screaming loudly into the air, letting my voice echo off the pavement.

"Fuck! Yes!" I cried out, clenching down on her still-moving fingers over and over. My body released every ounce of apprehension and worry it had been holding, giving into the happy, sated feeling that came post-orgasm.

Of course, I wasn't able to hold onto that feeling for very long. As Esme was helping me sit up, ready to put my clothes back on and head to our hotel room, I became blinded by a bright light.

"Ow!" I cried, covering my eyes from the intense light. "What the hell?"

"Yes," a deep voice rumbled. "What the hell, indeed. You, Miss, are on my car."

The light disappeared, and a hefty cop appeared in its wake. As Esme scrambled to retie my halter-top, I realized that I had just been _completely_ exposed in public. And, apparently, I'd been doing so on this man's cop car.

_Lovely. This is why I don't misbehave_, was my last thought before my hands were clasped behind my back and I was being shoved into the back of the car I'd just had my first and (needless to say) only lesbian experience on.

Finally, the copious amounts of liquor I'd consumed caught up with me. I closed my eyes and prayed that the dizzy, nauseous feeling would disappear.  
**  
June 14 – 2:44 PM – The Parking Lot of Bella and Edward's Apartment**

Edward pulled the car into our spot, put it into park, and took the keys from the ignition, but he made no move to get out. He sat there, his hands in his lap, staring out the windshield at the wall in front of him.

"Edward?" I put a delicate hand on his shoulder, snapping him out of his trance.

"This story absolutely doesn't leave the car, okay?"

I nodded quickly. "Of course."

"Alice doesn't know what happened?"

I shook my head. "No, Alice texted me, saying she's staying with some guy named Jasper and she'll be back to LA next week."

"Good," he said sternly. He shook his head and turned to me. "Bella, next time you want to—" he let out an exasperated sigh "—experiment with a woman, please, for the love of God, I'm begging you. Please have it be with anyone else but my _mom_."

Snickering came from the back seat, but I was too focused on the words that Edward had just spoken. "Wait…next time?" I squeaked. "Do you _want_ there to be a next time?"

Edward chuckled softly, finally smiling for the first time all day. "Only if you do, baby."

**Today, the police called and told me that they had Alex in custody. Apparently, she had public sex with another woman and wants me to come bail her out. Alex is my mom. FML.**

*~*~*

**Chapter End Notes:**

**Thank you so much to the four hundred people I sent this thing to—Arenee363, Laraisawkward, il-bel-mondo—freaking out over popping my femme slash cherry…thanks, Yogagal for (after saying I'd never write slash) giving me this prompt ;) And apologies to anyone I totally squicked out with this. Blame the prompt…and my dirty, dirty mind for taking it there. Leave me your thoughts. I love you all.**


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